User:Keyle.horton/Energy poverty/Shriya175 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Keyle.horton


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Keyle.horton's Sandbox for 'Energy Poverty'
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Energy poverty

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead sentence is effective because it lays out the issues the section discusses. The content is relevant but compared to the other paragraphs under the section, this one has more statistics which becomes a bit repetitive at times, so it may be helpful to make your arguments in a more concise way. There are also some grammatical errors, in terms of punctuations (commas for long sentences).

The content is backed up a wide range of sources, which are relatively recent so the additions are up to date as well. The tone of your text is neutral and provides a good overview of issues related to energy poverty in South Asia. Because the text brings up so many good points, it may be useful to divide it into two parts, further expanding on some points. At the same, I do notice rest of the sub-sections are a paragraph long so maybe you intended to keep it that way.

To sum up, I think your section is a great addition to the overall article and provides more depth for the regional analysis section by including South Asia.

Some Minor Proposed Changes

This sentence is a bit confusing to read because of all the numbers so rewording it may help.


 * "Throughout South Asia, 95.8 percent of the total population — 99.7 percent of the urban population — had access to electricity in 2020, making it the second-largest region in the world with an electricity access deficit."

For someone who does not know anything about the technicalities of energy production, some of the terms in this sentence may be confusing so if there is a simpler way to explain this without losing any information, that would be great.


 * "Flaws in the generation, transmission, and distribution system can result in power losses, load shedding practices can mean shutting down the grid during peak periods, and power may be stolen through informal electricity lines"