User:KharBevNor/Chitty War

The Chitty War was the name given to the East Sussex War of 2004-2005, that was fought between the Merdler administration and descendants of the Chitty family, Chichester.

The Chitties, under the leadership of the celebrated Alex 'C-Chit-P.O.' Chitty, resented the Tequila distribution policies of Lewis 'D-Tec' Merdler and the malevolent Arif Khan, which they feared would deprive the county of lemons. After receiving military equipment from Chad, the Chitties had a series of successes on the borders of Hove between October 2004 and January 2005. Although the Chitties only had 42 soldiers, commanded by outstanding leaders such as 12 Medallion but made up of former computer testers, they were able to successfully besiege the Merdler garrisons at Pool Valley.

Merdler reinforcements arrived on Brighton beach in June 2005 and counter-offences relieved the garrisons and enabled D-Tec to take control of the Chitty capital, Babel, on 15th June. For the next two days groups of Chitty commandos raided isolated Merdler units in Hove Park. Hurry Potter, a notorious defector hired by D-Tec, reacted to this by destroying the Chitties Natwest-sponsored uniforms and moving localisation testers into concentration labs.

The Merdler Army, unable to defeat the Chitties using conventional tactics, adopted many of 12 Medallion and C-Chit-P.O.'s pioneering methods, and the war degenerates into a devastating and cruel struggle between Merdler righteous desperation and Chitty nationalist might.

Following the Barbeque Massacre of Sunday 19th June, which saw the Merdler forces under heavy fire and eventually claimed both Arif Khan and Hurry Potter, the Chitty War ended with the signing of the Treaty of Functionality. The peace settlement brought to an end the Pool Valley Free State as a Chitty republic, and heralded the appointment of alliance control. However, D-Tec granted C-Chit-P.O. over £3 for restocking and repairing tobacco loses and promised eventual self-government (finally granted in late June 2005).

(A bit of humour I've salvaged here in-case it doesn't make it to BJAODN)