User:Khys2000/Oliviero Carafa/Josothunder Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Khys2000


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Couldn't find it (I went through the Wiki Edu site)? I'll be making some suggestions on current iteration of the page in lieu of peer review


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Oliviero Carafa

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Going in order of the bullets suggested in the Training:

- Lead section: As is, I think the lead section is succinct and to the point. However, I think the third sentence about "conscientiousness" can be elaborated upon because the lead does not provide an explanation of what that is.

- Clear Structure: Yes, there is a clear structure. There is a early, middle, and end career section. The only section I might add -- if you can find information for it -- is a childhood/early life section that seems to be present in many other people's pages.

- Balanced coverage: Coverage is sparse but existing information is balanced. No suggestions here other than to try to maintain balance when you add in new information.

- Neutral content: At first there were a couple of adjectives that seemed charged but in the larger context of the page it seems to make sense. I think, however, that the page as a whole is quite sparse and additional details are required.

- Reliable sources: Again, there is a lack of sources but what is there seem to make sense. I think #3 is an appropriate source? It has a bunch of names (which leads me to think it was a transcript in Italian or something) -- I think further investigation for this source might be warranted.

Hope this helps!