User:Kingpentheus

My life was pretty great, I was King of Thebes, I had a lot of good friends, and then ONE day, this guy named Bacchus comes into town and is all like "hey, I'm a GOD" and I'm like ahahha cute. But you know who I really hate? The dude with the foresight, Tiresias, more like LIE-resias AMMIRIGHT because he's just full of LIEESSS. So anyways this guy Bacchus shows up like hey am I a boy am I a girl who knows man let's party and I'm just like, whoa. Children of Mars! Offspring of the Serpent! What MADNESS clouds your judgement? Will clashing cymbals, blaring hornpipes, tawdry illusions conquer those who had endured a line of spears? Who've drawn their swords, advancing as one man when the charge was sounded? And then I'm all like go get Bacchus and my servants come back covered in BLOOD (??) and bring me this dude who tells the loooongest story I've ever heard about dolphins and shit and I'm like go torture and kill this guy ya know? And his chains all fallin' off and then I'm like forget this I'm doing this myself so I go out to get him but I see my mom and some other ladies in a clearing having their party and I'm like hey and they're like WE GON RIP YOUR HEAD OFF and they ripped off all my limbs and then my head and I was like oops I'm dead now. So now I'm editing Wikipedia.