User:Kira-g.w.w./Social Amoeba Evolution/BartHarleyJarvis Peer Review

I think you did a fantastic job on this, Kira. The progression of information given was thoughtfully done, as previous sections informed what I was reading about in subsequent sections. You wrote things out in simple terms, allowing for more comprehension on the reader's end; this could potentially promote understanding from a wider audience, so great job regarding this. As I went through your draft, I mainly made minor grammatical/formatting fixes and/or suggestions in the form of invisible comments. I also left you questions, with some being genuine questions, and others intending to invoke thought about certain issues in the paper. I would also suggest adding in more links within your article, such as hyperlinks the Wikipedia pages for "Fruiting Body" and "Primary Production", as many readers may not know the significance of these terms due to not knowing their meanings. You had also left an invisible comment question in your life history section, so I left an adjacent invisible comment, attempting to answer your question and/or give you some ideas for how you could incorporate that idea you referred to. In your final section where you break down the 4 groupings of social amoeba, I think you did a great job characterizing each in a clear way, however, I would just insert more in-text citations to back up what you're saying. After reading your article, Kira, I left it more interested in social amoeba than before I'd read it, and the background you provided gave me a good big-picture understanding of these organisms. Well-done (thumbs up).

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Kira-g.w.w.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Kira-g.w.w./Social Amoeba Evolution


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)