User:KiraXMaddox/Cardamom Mountain Jar Burial Sites/Julie Foss Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

KiraXMaddox


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KiraXMaddox/Cardamom_Mountain_Jar_Burial_Sites?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
This page is well organized and has sections that are relevant and informational. The lead section is lacking information that would let a reader know what the main ideas of the page are. More information in the beginning would be helpful. The language in the first half of the page is very casual, and needs some revision in order to effectively convey the information. More citations should be used in the first half, so more information can be added, and more elaboration should be present. The second half of the site is far more extensive, and there is much more information. It is still slightly casual in language, but the information is understandable. There should be more sources in the second half as well. Overall, there needs to be more research to broaden the perspective as well as to add more information to the page.