User:KirstenBiefeld/Lake Titicaca/Cumberland107 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

KirstenBiefeld


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KirstenBiefeld/Lake_Titicaca?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Lake Titicaca

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Great information, great sources, a few formatting/wording suggestions. It may be beneficial to split some of your information into different headings or even subheadings as much of this information involves some pretty advanced science unfamiliar to the average Wikipedia user. By heading that information with the appropriate terminology people will be able to learn the concepts they need to in order to understand what is being discussed. There are a couple issues with the sentence "Because of its size, in both how deep of a lake it is and because of its vastness, it is known as the highest navigable lake in the world at an altitude of 3,812 m (12,507 ft)" that interfere with the readers ability to interpret your meaning. Using because to start a sentence is typically discouraged so maybe use "due to" in place of "because of"? I would also introduce the sentence with the fact and then explain why it is a fact, essentially flipping the order of your sentence. Additionally, the way you discuss the size of the lake is worded in a way that's somewhat hard to understand, maybe instead describe the lakes size in regards to depth, width, and length. The map is a great illustrative tool and I feel the image of the village does a good job of helping the reader visualize the aridity of the surrounding region.