User:Kissakyake Mbwilo/sandbox

Article evaluation
I would like to evaluate an article about the largest city in my country Tanzania,that is known as Dar es salaam.The topic interests me because it is concerning my home country and i lived in the city before.The city is the most populous in the country and regionally important economic center hence there are many economic opportunities.It is recognized as the one of the fastest growing cities in the world.I visited the Dar es salaam page on Wikipedia and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: Citations,structure or completeness and grammar or voice.

Information have been left out
There are some things which are very important that have been left out of the article.The sections like media,sports,education,culture and transportation are lacking some of the important information.The author has not provided the facts about religion,social services,marine transport,online media for televisions and radios.All these things should be included in the article because they are existing in the city.

Over- represented information
Some of the view points have been over-represented.Section like History, in the last two paragraphs and Education in sub section of Ardhi University have got a lot of information which are not necessarily needed.

Under-represented information
Some sections lack enough information.For example Geography needs more clarification on settlements and districts,also the section of Government needs more information about administrative structure and more information about the problems or challenges facing the people in the city.Also there should be more facts about the presence of banks,markets,supermarkets and malls.

Irrelevant section or sentence
I have noticed an irrelevant sentence in the section of Culture,the sub section of Art the last sentence is irrelevant.The author mentioned the person who donated some money to the group of artists,i think that is not as much as important to know about that person since there are a lot of people go there and donate.

Voice
The author has tried to insure an appropriateness of grammar but some of the sections of the article do not sound neutral.The author has presented the information from his or her own perspective.Example the sub section of schools,he mentioned only few private schools as the best schools but there are some government schools and church owned schools which are also the best.

Summary
These are the some of the corrections that must be done in the article so as to provide the viewers with correct information about the topic.Many people in the world would like to know about the place,therefore there must be facts in the article about the city.But generally the article is good except for those mistake which i would like to make some corrections by providing some suggestions about the article.

( Side note: As part of this assignment: i have posted some suggestion on talk page, on what should be done to make this article more perfect.)