User:Kjohn15

Religion in Marriage

Divorce rates in America are at noticeable heights, but for what reason? When taking a look at marriages there is indication that couples who get divorced are unhappy with their partners for various reasons such as incompatibility or an unhealthy sex life. Searching to find if religiosity in marriages has an affect on their outcome is the matter of interest. Do the morals and beliefs religious individuals hold affect their views on marriage and how one should be operated, and are the divorce rates among couples who do not practice a religion noticeably higher than those who do? According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), there were approximately 2,279,000 marriages in the year 2004 alone. The marriage rate per 1,000 individuals was 7.8 while the divorce rate stood at about 3.7. In a study done by Dr. Tom Ellis, who is the chairman of the Southern Baptist Conventions Council on the Family, some interesting statistics on interfaith marriages were found. He concluded that couples who “marry in the church after attending premarital counseling, and attend church regularly and pray together have about 1 divorce out of every 39,000.” It was also found that interfaith relationships are about 50% more likely to end in divorce than intrafaith ones. Conflicts with religion can be troublesome with individuals in everyday life. Combine that conflict with a married couple and the turmoil could be endless.

To understand if religiosity affects satisfaction in marriages we must first find what factors influence satisfaction. It could be anything from emotional connection to sexual pleasure. Women tend to be more satisfied if the emotional aspect of the relationship is stable, while men are generally geared towards the sexual aspect. In the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” John Gray explores the differences and sometimes mysteries between men and women. Since women are stimulated by what they feel, a woman would like a man who can make her feel good without sex. While men are stimulated by what they see, they would like a woman that appeals to them. This does not mean the only thing they think about is what the woman looks like it bed, but it is what stimulates them.

The emotional connection in marriages is often the binding force that keeps them together. Couples agreeing on the same things from raising children to dealing with finances all play into the satisfaction and longevity of marriages. But how about religion? Does the presence or absence of a higher power matter when it comes to these things? In some societies couples are not even allowed to marry if they are from different tribes or races, if they were too closely related, disabled, or of the same sex. So when it comes to marriage there is a higher expectation.

Within the Christian religion there are many different beliefs on marriage and divorce. Some feel that once the marriage is consummated it should not be broken. Others feel that there are certain circumstances that would allow divorce. They feel it is better to get out of an unhappy relationship than to be trapped in it. According to the Assembly of God denomination, “Divorce is treachery against your companion. Jesus forbade divorce as contrary to God’s will and word…” They do not see divorce as a necessary means to working things out. The Mormon denomination feels differently however. They believe “divorce is not part of the gospel play no matter what kind of marriage is involved. But because men [and women] in practice do not always live in harmony with gospel standards, the Lord permits divorce [as in Moses’ time] for one reason or another, depending upon the spiritual stability of the people involved…” Basically saying that if the marriage is not working then divorce is acceptable.

How about Roman Catholics which is the largest Christian denomination in the world. They believe marriages are eternal unless a spouse dies, but an annulment can be issued saying that a marriage never existed. A paper that says a marriage never existed does not mean it did not however. Generally speaking the existence of religion in marriages has no bearing on whether it last or not, it is the application of religion that makes all the difference. All these denominations have different standards of living, but everything is not black and white. There are circumstances and life experiences that often cause individuals to detour away from their beliefs. Couples who share the same religion, being Mormon-Mormon, are far more likely to have happier marriages according to a study done in Utah on interfaith and intrafaith marriages. Same faith marriages where the couple is Catholic have the highest probability of divorce. Naturally, sharing different religions would bring about some sort of separation in a marriage, and interfaith couples have to deal with an extra “burden” of compromising when the different beliefs shared affect everyday living. Simple decisions become somewhat trivial because of the differing beliefs and that is something couples must work to overcome. In some religions couples are not even allowed to marry until they go through extensive counseling by a minister. They do this to alleviate the nonsense that comes along with couples who should not be married in the first place. Their idea is that if they detect problems before the marriage is actually consummated, then they can save a lot of heartache. This seems like a logical approach to marriage, being religious or not. Nothing can tell if a marriage will last or not, but counseling often detects problems before they occur. Religion in marriage does not guarantee satisfaction and longevity, but divorce is something that is looked at as a last resort to problems. Couples who pray together often stay together. There was a study done at the University of Georgia to test this very concept. The study examined about 500 African-American couples to see if prayer really worked in their marriages. It was found that it indeed does, and the Center for Family Research is now trying to run programs to make couples more aware of this. The morals and values related to religion often aid to assist couples when there is turmoil in the marriage. Keeping in mind that there are other factors that affect marriages such as gender roles, raising children, financial accountability and so on, but the main purpose of this essay is to examine how religion plays a role. The morals and beliefs religious individuals hold often carry over into their marriages and help them greatly. There are always going to be differences when joining two people together, but if there is some other connection that brings the two together in harmony, problems will be solved much faster. The application of religion in these marriages will assist to provide a stable source of inspiration and advice when there is some to be found.

Bibliography:

1.	No Author. “Marriage and Divorce.” National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 2006 2.	Gray, John. “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.” J.G. Productions Inc. 1992 3.	Bahr, Howard M. “Religious Intermarriage and Divorce in Utah and the Mountain States.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. 1981 4.	Call, Vaughn. “Religious Influence on Marital Stability.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. 1997 5.	Robinson, B.A. “Divorce rates among interfaith marriages.” Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance. 2002 6.	Larosa, Nicole "University study to examine impact of prayer on couples" Capital City Press. 2005