User:Kjoi2000/Mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic/Clancyelizabeth Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kjoi2000


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * 
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think your changes so far are definitely helpful to the article. Your information comes from up-to-date and reliable sources, and you've cited them well. Some things I would tweak in the draft would be the following:


 * The sentence "A combination of individual and organizational-level interventions are most effective in mitigating negative mental health outcomes in healthcare workers." seems like it may not be a neutral perspective. I think you could reword it in a way that makes it more neutral.


 * The bullet-point "Implement positive thinking and engage in personal hobbies." seems like two different things. I would separate positive thinking and personal hobbies into separate bullet-points.

There are some things I would edit elsewhere in the article as well:


 * The lead paragraphs could be edited to reflect more of the important topics in the article. For example, a sizable section is devoted to causes of mental health issues during the pandemic, but this is not addressed in the lead paragraph.


 * There seems to be a bit of extreme language and biased tone in the article. I would look at that closely and correct it where you can.


 * The sections seem like they could be organized more effectively. For example, I would think that prevention would fall more towards the end of the article (after all the impacts and causes of mental health issues have been listed), but it is the second section.

You have clearly spent time and effort on your contribution, and you're doing great! I expect your contribution will be very helpful in the long run.