User:Kjoithomas/Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on foster care in the United States/Alicemarron Peer Review

I think this is a great beginning to cover a very relevant topic at the moment, here are my suggestions:


 * I would run through each paragraph looking at spelling and punctuation, particularly commas. I think shifting some sentences that sound more like a stream of consciousness into appositives would also be beneficial.
 * I would also look to be more concise in wording and consider combining some ideas and sentences by semicolons, particularly in the first and second paragraphs.
 * You have a good variety of sources listed, although I would add more citations, particularly to your statements on health outcomes in the first paragraph as well as sources on the therapist and psychologist visits being online in your second paragraph.
 * I would also edit the existing Lead to pertain to what is covered in the following article and what you have added about the actual foster care system, rather than the abuse that leads to the need for the foster care system. While this is important, I think you could move it to its own section under Content concerning what leads to upticks in abuse as well as expanding upon the reliance on teachers to report suspected abuse. I think the story about Dallas-Fort Worth would fit well into this new section.
 * Adding data on the benefits of mentorship programs as well as the quantitative benefits of keeping siblings together might benefit your article as well.
 * Wikipedia is flagging the article as it stands for lack of neutrality, although I frankly do not know how to balance this tone as it pertains to child abuse and foster care. Potentially consider discussing what actions are being taken to make up for these issues caused by Covid-19 pertaining to the protection provided by foster care to meet this need. You could also further expand upon how the foster care system has changed under the pandemic to meet the needs of foster children, or how changes made during the pandemic could be used to adapt to individual needs even after the pandemic ends. There may be organizations that have shifted their goals based on these new needs that might also be described to balance the neutrality of the article in Wikipedia's eyes.
 * In the published article as it stands, there is also reference to England's foster care system. I think this is a useful contextualization for research, although I am uncertain of the relevance to your article as the topic is over foster care in the United States in particular.
 * Adding more data and citations on economic stress leading to the uptick of abuse and lowering of reports would also benefit your article.

Over all, I think you have a great, relevant article started. I think beginning by making it more easily read with added commas and checking spelling will clean it up very quickly. I look forward to reading the final version!

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kjoithomas


 * Link to draft you're reviewing - User:Kjoithomas/sandbox
 * Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on foster care in the United States
 * Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on foster care in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)