User:Kmart0915/Food safety/Allie2004 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

kmart0195


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kmart0915/Food_safety?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Food safety

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead does a good job of introducing the topic of food contamination however I can't tell what it is that the author changed in their draft. It looks like they may have added their own paragraph but I can't be certain.

Based on my scan of the original article, the draft definitely contains information that isn't already present in the original article. I do think the sentence regarding food contamination effecting children and the elderly should either be expanded upon or deleted completely. As it is, it doesn't really seem all that relevant in the context of the paragraph. I think that would be better as it's own section with additional information included.