User:Kmhuwinnipeg/Britannia Inferior/DerekJLoewen Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kmhuwinnipeg


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Kmhuwinnipeg/Britannia Inferior
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Britannia Inferior

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Kmh,

Your drafted article is looking good so far. Your additions to the lead are well done off the bat. It lets the reader know that there is a historical debate about Britannia Inferior's creation but doesn't come across as persuasive. The entire lead is a good summary. It relays the dates of creation/removal of the province.

You can for sure borrow parts from me for the "Establishment" section once I have them up. I'm going to fill an entire section with the story of the Albinus, Severus and Niger power vacuum. You can use some of that info to beef up this section if you'd like. Phrases like "this seems clear" and "thus, it is likely" come across as persuasive from the previous writer. The info those sections contain seem legit though and they clearly have references. You may be able to roll with it and just change some wording around for the reader. The things you've added to this section in bold are right on the money. Both relevant points that create a new dynamic outlook for whoever finds this article in their Wiki rabbit hole/surfing. Well done!

Your "History" section is bread and butter. This is exactly the tone I think a Wikipedia article should have. It's the right amount of info to density ratio and you have a reference for nearly every sentence. The only section that seems mildly jarring is "the northern province actually had more soldiers". I think the word "actually" could maybe be dropped here. I really dig the bull symbol info at the end of this section. Are there any photos you can get of these lead sealings? I'll have to dig to see what we have on the Britannia Superior side.

To summarize your article is developing very well. That references section is looking nice and large. The tone you give the article follows the training guidelines and I'll for sure check some of your references for my own article. I tend to work on things all at once so I plan on throwing a bunch of info up in my SB around midweek. If I come across anything that may help your article I'll send it your way on this page. All the best, thanks for your constructive comments on my page as well Kmh,

Derek