User:Kmvsetecka/Anaeromyxobacter dehalogenans/Jimmyjon12 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kmvsetecka


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kmvsetecka/Anaeromyxobacter_dehalogenans?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Anaeromyxobacter dehalogenans

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

I think your opening sentence is too short. Consider combining the info in the first two sentences to make a stronger lead.

When reading, we get a hint that you'll talk about genomics and metabolism, but it may be useful to more explicitly state it.

The sentence "The microbe has the ability to live..." might fit better in the metabolism section. It feels too specific for the lead section. Focus on generalizing this section and then going into more detail in later sections.

I like that you give a lot of important phenotypic information in the first couple sentences. I think that's a great way to include that information.

Content:

Consider moving some of the gene information out of the metabolism section and into the genomic section since you list a lot of genes. This could lengthen your genomics section.

The acetate information comes out of nowhere. Try to integrate this better by explaining why acetate thresholds may be important to this organism and others.

Elaborate more on the comparisons of metabolism.

You mention environment a few times in the lead and in metabolism, maybe you could add a section about environments that it lives in and stress responses.

Consider adding genome length and current research on the genome into your genomics section. this could add some more length.

Organization:

Flip genomics and metabolism. I think this makes a little more sense since we can read about its genes and then the function of those genes.

I think that this article could benefit from some more varied sentence structure. Lots of short sentences. Although these are clear and to the point (important in neutral article writing), it could be more interesting to read with varied sentences. -- this is a nitpick, not a huge deal, but something to consider! Good writing overall!

Images

I see you're planning to add one. I think a picture of the organism could be useful, especially the spores and fruiting body.

Sources:

Your references are a bit confusing since there are 2 reference boxes. I'm not sure how you could fix that though since wikipedia makes the reference boxes.

Overall, great start! Keep on doing good work! :)