User:Koolkat646/Rainbow Serpent/TheMarshmallow5 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Koolkat646


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Koolkat646/Rainbow Serpent


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Rainbow Serpent

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Overall well done with changing a few things in the article of the Rainbow Serpent. Understandable there is no lead because it's more so of just adding a few sentences to the article. The content added is up to date and relevant which is also concise but it is hard to read. The sources and references you added were good as they come from books with quality information about the topic. Although, I did happen to have some trouble figuring out what you are adding to the article with the bolding in your sandbox and finding what was in the published article online. One of my critiques is to make it more organized to find what and where you plan on adding to in the article. I found a few grammatical errors as well. In your first sentence add a comma between people and but and add the word they between disturbed and can. In the second point you added put the word an in between of and animal. In one of your points added in parenthesis add the word a in between also and representative. In your last point added in parenthesis you forgot to put an s at the end of the word plant. In your very last contribution there are multiple grammar errors such as the second sentence which is hard to understand and the sentence after that there is an extra word of the in front of next. Some of your points you added are in parentheses which I would stray away from because It comes off to be unimportant with the parentheses. I would try to include those points into the sentences the article already has. All in all, your points are short and to the point which is great and it improves the quality of the article. Continue adding more to your article because you are adding quality of quantity, just make sure they are grammatically correct.