User:Kovicoffee/Sleep tracking/Renabee Peer Review

General info
Kovicoffee
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Kovicoffee/Sleep tracking
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Sleep tracking

Evaluate the drafted changes
You made several great changes in your draft. On the original page, though the focus is sleep tracking, the lead gives a short description of what sleep tracking in and immediately talks about its effectiveness as well as some of the downsides of sleep tracking. You added a section that dives deeper into sleep tracking and the different types of sleep trackers, which is great. You also did a great job with editing the effectiveness section and discussed the different ways the data of sleep tracking is followed, as well as discussing the disadvantages of each method alongside the benefits. On the original page, there were also a few links that weren't valid anymore, which you removed in your draft and added relevant links.

I honestly think your draft already looks like a strong Wikipedia page. The only thing that needs to be changed is the lead section. I've looked at other Wikipedia pages just as references, and I've noticed the length of the lead section varies, but the common denominator is that is serves more as a general overview. Since you go into detail about sleep tracking in the next section, for the lead, I would suggest focusing more on sleep tracking as it is currently, potentially with references to any researchers who have discussed sleep tracking and how frequently it's used. On the original page, they mentioned a journal that did a study on three patients who used sleep tracking devices and how that data was collected by companies such as Nike. Referencing that journal or another one could also be a great addition, especially with a potential focus on companies taking data without consent being another disadvantage of sleep tracking.