User:Ktschlick/Environmental migrant/Asircar Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ktschlick


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Really good and thorough job done! It seems that some of the sentences could be written in a more objective way where a value judgement isn't being made by the writer which might be helpful (admittedly challenging). Your entire Wikipedia article is extremely thorough and was actually easy to read and a pleasure. I would try to find more sources/evidence for your first paragraph under Climate Justice as there is a wealth of information that you've written about, but largely coming from the same source and this seems like the sort of thing that you could probably find more evidence for. In paragraph 3 of the same section, you writing slowly starts to get less objective, bias and to-the-point, and more like that of an essay--I would just suggest rewriting where this is the case to make your voice seem more Wikipedia appropriate like it is in the beginning of your article. My biggest criticism would be that your last two paragraphs could probably do with some brushing up in terms of langauge and voice--they're both very thorough and are extremely relevant, your way of saying them needs to be slightly sharper and less like a general essay you'd write for class. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your Wikipedia article and your "could also explore" section seems super interesting: I'd be very interested in reading that too if you get to it if you have the time! Really great job and I can't wait to see your edits!