User:Kwang1484/Franklin bells/Camstr32 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kwang1484


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kwang1484/Franklin_bells?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Franklin bells

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead Section

No changes or additions have been made to the lead section

Content

Is the content added relevant to the topic?

The additions are relevant to the topic.

Is the content added up to date?Additions appear up to date.

Is there content that is missing or does not belong?

The part where you add "He adapted a setup made in 1742 by German professor, Andrew Gordon." Seems like it could adjusted to make the article flow better since Gordon was introduced earlier in the article.

Tone and Balance

Is the content added neutral?

The additions are neutral. It's good that you note that although the bells are named after Franklin, he didn't invent them. Rather, Franklin created an application for the mechanism Gordon created.

Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?

The additions don't make any claims. They merely state what the bells were used for and how they operated.

Sources and References

Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?

Most content is from a reliable secondary source. Since the compilation of Ben Franklin's notes (source 3) is a primary source from Ben Franklin, this part of your article may need reevaluated.

Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say?

The content does reflect the sources.

Are the sources current?

All sources are published after Ben Franklin's death (1790) with the oldest being a collection of his notes published in 1962. Unless there were any new discoveries in his notes since then, the sources are up to date.

Organization

Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?

Most content is easy to read with the exception of a few sentences. The first being "Scientific investigation on of the phenomena of lightning originates with Benjamin Franklin" and the second being "Operating principle of Franklin Bells because when a positive charge is brought to one of the containers, it attracts a negatively charged clapper."

Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?

"The clapper hits the vessel, then absorbs the charge and is repelled" should not contain a comma. "The positively charged clapper is now attracted to the negatively charged container and the process repeats itself," should contain a comma before and. "During a thunderstorm, the current causes the clapper to hit the vessel and this device will ring," should have a comma before and.

Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Content is added in locations where it makes sense.

Responsed from Kwang1484

I reword The first being "Scientific investigation on of the phenomena of lightning originates with Benjamin Franklin" and the second being "Operating principle of Franklin Bells because when a positive charge is brought to one of the containers, it attracts a negatively charged clapper." to "Scientific investigation on of the phenomena we call lightning was discoverd and term was coined by Benjamin Franklin." and "The system on which the Franklin Bells operat consider of when a positive charge is brought to one of the containers, it attracts a negatively charged clapper." I copy and pasted original sentences from the resouces. And I fixed the gramma issue.

I deleted "He adapted a setup made in 1742 by German professor, Andrew Gordon.", this information is mentioned befor.

I have not found updated and more detailed information about the Franklin bell's so far, me and my teammate are still working on it try to find more dtailed, intrested and relevanted information about it.