User:Kyleighkimbrell/Game of thrones/Ppprru Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing Kyleighkimbrell's article about Game of Thrones.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kyleighkimbrell/Game_of_thrones?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Game of Thrones
 * Game of Thrones

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello, here is the peer review

Lead


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?

- lead has not been added to reflect new changes. This article needs an introductory sentence to describe your main theme which was the media access award related with disability representations in Game of Thrones. Therefore, it will be the starting point for editing. Be sure the guiding questions which is the lead briefly describes your major section, be concise.

Content


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic?

-Yes, I looked the original articles page as well, the media access is defiantly relevant with disability because the majority people are hardly influenced by the media today. Highlighting the media access award with disability representation do help the disabled communities gaining more positive representations.


 * Is the content added up-to-date?

Yes many of the contents are from 2007-2019.


 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?

In this case, because there was only one section of your content, everything are belongs to the content.


 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics? -

I will say yes, it did not address topic related to historically underrepresented populations like within specific cases. However, disability communities was been addressed, this topic has be ignored or underrepresented through decades.

Tone and Balance


 * Is the content added neutral? -

I would say it has bias, most of the content were the fact that the person truly said.

However, the introduction was "Game of Thrones has been applauded (and criticized) for its representation of disability in the show", Most of the examples were for applauded. The criticized for its representation is necessary as well.


 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?:

No, the viewpoints were presented well.

Sources and References


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? -

Yes, the sources were from a reliable source, published book, scientific journal or peer review articles that from library. like:

Luke, Learie. 2007. Identity and secession in the Caribbean: Tobago versus Trinidad, 1889–1980. A book published by a university press is a reliable source.


 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? /Is at least one of them a source from class reading or the "suggested sources" list?

Yes the sources is through.


 * Are the sources current? -

Yes, they are from the 2007s to 2019s.


 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?

Yes they are.


 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.) - I think researched some criticize peer review articles will help complete this content.

Organization


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?

I do felt this context should be more concise, or it will be better if deviled into two paragraphs instead only using one long paragraph.The in-text citation should not be placed in the bracket, for people who do not know who are those people, this reference is confusing. Please adding the in-text link instead of writing in the brackets.

Also the context will be better to read if divided into three paragraphs below:

In 2013, George R. R. Martin accepted the ...This does not stop him from becoming one of the most prominent people within Westeros and we see that his character develops into a softer personality that is essential for taking down the family that exiled him (cite- cook)

The show even gives a taste of life with a physical disability in medieval times as one of the Stark’s is paralyzed after being pushed ....able to fight, Arya Stark’s temporary blindness gave her the ability to become a better fighter (cite donnelly).

The amount of disabilities shown in Game of Thrones is not typical let alone their portrayal of them.... it is an award that is not just significant but something that will change the way people look at disabilities for generations to come.


 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?

Here is my suggestions:

In 2013, George R. R. Martin accepted the Visionary Award from the Writers With Disabilities committee at the Writers Guild of America (cite- martin website). The show has been applauded for their(its?) efforts in inclusion and visibility in the media, particularly with Tyrion Lannister, Bran Stark, Hodor, Jaime Lannister, and Arya Stark. (cite- martin website. Cite- Masbeh ) The show challenges the standard narrative of what it means to be disabled in the film where stereotypically, people with disabilities are shown as weak, asexual, dependent, and cheerful (cite- Masbeh). Tyrion Lannister is the show's most significant character with a disability, and his character is anything but typical. Usually, where people with dwarfism are shown as childlike or weak, Tyrion Lannister is an intelligent, cunning, and sexual character (cite cook).

Tyrion Lannister recounts being emotionally exiled by his family, and we see the exclusion through his siblings Jaime and Cersei Lannister. This (not clear) does not stop him from becoming one of the most prominent people within Westeros, and we see that his character develops into a softer personality that is essential for taking down the family that exiled him (cite- cook). The show even gives a taste of life with a physical disability in medieval times. One of the Starks is paralyzed after being pushed from a tower by secret lovers Jaime and Cersei Lannister. Without the invention of the wheelchair, he has to be carried around by a brawn man named Hodor. Hodor, who is intellectually disabled from a seizure he had at a young age (coincidently caused by Bran himself), is employed by the Stark family as a stableman (cite- Kornhaber). After Hodor’s death protecting the rest of the group, Bran is seen sporting a medieval wheelchair (quote Ellis). We even see Jaime Lannister’s character change after losing his hand in battle. Although he states that death would be better than the disability, he becomes a more likable character and continues to fight (cite- Donnelly). While Jaime Lannister badgers about being emasculated, and no longer being able to fight, Arya Stark’s temporary blindness gave her the ability to become a better fighter (cite Donnelly). The amount of disabilities shown in Game of Thrones is not typical let alone their portrayal of them. George R. R. Martin and the people behind the adaptation of A Song of Ice and Fire rewrote how the film industry shows disability. While not all cheerful, it still plays into stereotypes of not being fit to be king (Jaime, Bran, and Tyrion), being isolated for being different (Tyrion and Shireen Baratheon), and Bran’s superpower he gets after seasons of being disabled (cite Donnelly, ulaby). However, it is a step in the right direction. It is instrumental in setting a path for future shows to replicate and continue to better the accurate representation of disability. The Media Access Award promotes the precise expression of people with disabilities. It is an award that is not just significant but something that will change the way people look at disabilities for generations to come.


 * Is the content added well-organized -

The content should be broke down into two or three points instead of one. The paragraph was too long.

Overall impressions


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?/How can the content added be improved? -

The contend defiantly highlighted the media access award for the disability communities, the content needs more visual images or videos for reading to gain more clear knowledge or the disability actors.


 * What are the strengths of the content added?

The strengths of the content will be the sources, most of them were from the peer reviewed scientific journals, books and articles.

Additional Questions


 * Does your peer have 5-7 reliable sources? yes, my peer have 6 reliable sources.
 * Does the topic link in some way to our course material?Definitely related with disability studies.
 * Does your peer add historical context to their article? No, my peer did not add historical context to the article.
 * Based on what you know from course content, what do you think Wikipedia users should know about this topic? first is to add more historical background of what other media access reward has disability communities received and related to Game of Thrones. Also, add more images and videos.

By Rui Huang