User:Kyrastewart/Nirjutiqavvik National Wildlife Area/Wiki SFU CSR Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kyrastewart, Lukedux8, RandomREM


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kyrastewart/Nirjutiqavvik_National_Wildlife_Area?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Nirjutiqavvik National Wildlife Area

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead in my opinion is better in the original version of the article because it clearly gives the location of where it is located as in the draft it makes it unclear (changing the sentences and their structure would help). However, I did like how the terrain was included unlike in the original.

Content:

Following list taken from Peer Review Guideline:


 * How the boundaries and size of the protected area were decided?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The article does list the size and why it was mainly made as it is home to a significant breeding population of bird species. But nothing about the why the size was chosen
 * Information about what species can be found in the protected area (plants, animals, other species)?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Only animal species is covered by the article
 * Information about any species that are endemic?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                no
 * Identification of any species at risk in the protected area, and information about their population trends, if available?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              It identifies species that are at risk and listed under SARA
 * Description of the issues/goals that led to the creation of the protected area?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The article lists that the area is home to a significant breeding population of bird species as big reason why it was created.
 * Whether the goals that led to the creation of the protected area are being met, and how this is being measured?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   no
 * Information about First Nations whose traditional and ancestral territory/ies are included in the protected area?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      the article does list the Inuit people whose traditional territory the area is in but no history regarding their use of the area
 * Whether First Nations were included in the process creating the protected area, or whether they supported the creation of the protected area?                                                                                                                                                                                                                    no information about Indigenous Peoples on whether they were involved in the creation of the protected area
 * Whether First Nations are currently included in management decision making processes for the protected area, and either way, what their priorities are for the management of and access to the area?                                                                                                                                              The article covers that Indigenous Peoples are involved with the management of the area.
 * The number of visitors to the protected area, and what they do there?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    no information about visitors is listed
 * Historical use of the now-protected area: what resources were harvested or extracted there (biological resources like fish, animals, plants, or timber; physical resources like rock or oil), how much, when, and by who? How did this affect the formation of the protected area?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The article covers information about Indigenous resource harvesting within the NWA and that they still had the right to harvest from the area. It does say that commercial fisheries, resource extraction etc. do pose a threat to the protected area but does not explain anymore. It does not cover how resources and extraction/use of them affected the formation of the protected area.
 * How climate change is predicted to affect the ecology of the protected area?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           The article covers some information about climate change regarding the NWA.

Tone: The overall tone in my opinion is good and neutral. The article I find tends to focus more on management of the national wildlife area, I would like to see more information about the species that live in the NWA and about the history of Indigenous use if possible.

Sources: The sources need to be after each sentence that includes work from elsewhere and information that is not common knowledge. As the way it is currently with the sourcing the end of the paragraph or not at is wrong, leaving it open to plagiarism. The sources are good but one is used as 3 separate ones, a source should only be listed once.

Organization: It does get hard to read in some sections particularly the section about the management of the area. Reformatting and shortening/splitting sentences into two would greatly improve the readability of them. There are grammar mistakes in areas of the article such as quotation marks outside of period. Having proper titles such as management, geography etc.. whatever is used for sections would help with tell people what this section is about. As the way it is currently the article jumps from topic to topic making it not have the best reading experience and confusing.

Overall Impression:

The things that I learned compared to the original article the management of the protected and that First Nations are heavily involved with it. Part of the reason why the protected area was created. I would have liked to have seen more information about the history of the area regarding of it by Indigenous Peoples and what was happening to it before it became protected. The information about climate change I find is good but I would have preferred it to be more focused on the NWA as little of it covers climate change and its impact upon the NWA.