User:L0c40796/Right to privacy/Tunjesh Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

L0c40796


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:L0c40796/Right_to_privacy?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Right to privacy

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead is concise and has an introductory sentences that describes the topic.

It will require the inclusion of references. As an example the statement that references Edward Snowden requires a reference.

It does not include the major sections of the articles.

The addition/edition of countries like United State, Australia etc. enriches the article. While the content of Australia is still being developed, the contents of USA is well developed and informative. However, am debating in my mind whether its necessary to include the subsection on "Intentions of the CCPA Act", since readers can click on the CCPA link to know more about CCPA.

The section on "Mass surveillance" only refers to activities within United States. This needs to be expanded.

Overall, the tone of the article is balanced.

Checked a couple of references and the linked both work and reflect the message.