User:LEKlein/sandbox

=copyediting article==

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_federalism

This article uses too much technical language for most readers to understand. This article also is also to abstract and topics that need to be more focused in order to fully understand the piece. the article is lengthy and awkwardly arranged making it difficult to navigate and read.
 * Approved. If you're pressed for time, you can make this quick. Just fix a small section. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:24, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

additional sources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nacirema
 * Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:23, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

four sources
1. http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=1&sid=bbb5eff5-44e3-4d59-9bd5-81e2263a95d4%40sessionmgr115&hid=108&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=rlh&AN=82724489 2. http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=2&sid=bbb5eff5-44e3-4d59-9bd5-81e2263a95d4%40sessionmgr115&hid=108&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=edsjsr&AN=edsjsr.665280 3. http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=4&sid=bbb5eff5-44e3-4d59-9bd5-81e2263a95d4%40sessionmgr115&hid=108&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=sih&AN=4943706 4. http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=5&sid=bbb5eff5-44e3-4d59-9bd5-81e2263a95d4%40sessionmgr115&hid=108&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=pbh&AN=8546122

missing lead section
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saia

analysis of lead article
the main body of the article is comprised of randomly stated facts. they are in chronological order yet the article does not have a flow about it that makes it an easy read. there is also no information on who founded the company, only where and when it started. the article needs to be rewritten with a better order of information and not just dates followed by facts that happened in that time.

new lead
Saia is an American trucking company, or a less than truckload (LTL) trucking company that originated in Houma, Louisiana in 1924. Originally they were only located within the state but within fifty years expanded into Texas as well. Eventually the company was given permission to expand service to more states within the South. Through later merges that occurred the company expanded further into servicing thirty four states. Saia is one of the most successful LTL carriers in the United States, ranking in the top ten.
 * Your draft is a good start. Here are my suggestions: You can further compress the history of the company's growth but at the same time give the reader a better sense of a timeline. Something like, "The company operated in LA and TX for the first fifty years of its existence but after 1980 began to expand its coverage." In the last sentence, take out "most successful" - it sounds too promotional. If you say it ranks in the top ten, that will speak to its size and success. Finally, in the first sentence, add a comma after the second "company." Josef Horáček (talk) 05:48, 2 March 2015 (UTC)