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Damals, dann und danach Damals, dann und danach (English: Then, Now, and Thereafter) is an essay collection by German-Jewish writer Barbara Honigmann, first published in 1999. It is comprised of nine essays belonging to the literary tradition of autofiction. Each traces the narrator's attempts to recover a Jewish identity through explorations of multiple generations of family history, from 1848 to present. Several essays contribute to a depiction of the author's life as a German-Jewish writer living in a self-imposed exile in Straßburg, France.

"Selbstporträt als Jüdin"
(English: Self-portrait as Jewish Woman)

Honigmann describes her relationship with her parents, Judaism, and Germany, especially her parents’ experiences during and after Nazi rule. Her parents had always been reluctant to discuss their Judaism with their daughter, and as a rule, did not at all. As a young adult, Honigmann did not understand this fear, but instead always felt a strong connection to Judaism. Despite her robust interest in her culture, Honigmann found the East Berlin German-Jewish community to be lacking, and moved to Strasbourg in hopes of finding a stronger community. In Strasbourg today, Honigmann feels more like a spectator than a citizen. Honigmann's spiritual connection to Judaism is stronger than that to Germany, but she still recognizes that culturally, she will always be a German writer.

"Gräber in London"
(English: Graves in London)

"Graves in London" begins with a letter which Barbara's mother received from her mother in 1942. Barbara's grandmother wrote to inform her daughter of her weakening health, and instructed her to prepare to attend to her and her recently deceased husband’s graves. This letter was the only object Barbara inherited from her mother after her death, and provided a rare clue into her family history. As an eleven-year-old, Barbara was sent to London by her mother, but only later did Barbara discover that London is the place of her grandparents’ graves.

The dilapidated Weißensee Cemetery was one of the only places in East Berlin where Barbara could feel a strong connection to her Jewish ancestry. There she first met her husband, Peter. Peter was already well-connected to his background, and told Barbara much about it. Naturally, Barbara was envious of this because of her mother’s silence regarding her family history.

Barbara visits the cemetery in London with her children. Together they search for the graves of her grandparents, but do not find gravestones or signs, only the unmarked space where they are buried. Suddenly Barbara understands why her mother had stayed silent and “bequeathed the past” to her.

"Von meinem Urgroßvater, meinem Großvater, meinem Vater und von mir"
(English: On My Great-Grandfather, My Grandfather, My Father, and Me)

Peter and Barbara bike to a park on the Rhine, where they meet a Turkish family, with whom they speak and play. Barbara’s great grandfather fought in the ’48 revolution, and identified as a democratic politician and author. His son George was not very religious and was assimilated into the German culture, which made him slightly estranged from his Judaism. From the outside, however, he still appeared as a Jew. The three generations of these men wanted to practice the German culture at home, but with this they experienced only refusal and rejection.

When Barbara moved to Strasbourg she began to write. She needed her writing to belong to Germany. She compared the feelings of being a Jew and a writer, and explains how they are very similar because they both have to do with exile. Even though her whole family was Jewish, they didn’t want to show it, and therefore said very little about it to Barbara when she was a child. Through describing the stories of her parents and grandparents, she realizes Judaism is her writing theme.

Honigmann explains her choice of France over Germany, England, and all other places. She finds her foreign and solitary life in France better than her old life in the DDR. France symbolizes freedom for her because she has no ancestry from there, and also none of her ancestors have lived in France. Even though she did not live far from the German-French border, she found that her life in France was secluded. At the end Honigmann describes an anecdote about her experiences with the Turkish child, with whom it was easy to speak because he was innocent and had no concept of Judaism.

"Meine sefardischen Freundinnen"
(English: My Sephardic Friends)

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"Der Untergang von Wien"
In „der Untergang von Wien“, Honigmann describes the roll Vienna played in her life as well as her mother’s. The first recollection Honigmann describes is a visit to her mother’s grave in a Jewish cemetery in Vienna. Her mother Lizzy spoke Hungarian, English, French, and German. Her identity changed with each language, evident in her expressions and body language. In particular, Lizzy spoke English with a close group of friends. The group of friends felt themselves a family, especially due to their shared connections to England.

Honigmann also describes her own relationship with Vienna. Even though her mother was born and died there, Honigmann never feels entirely comfortable in the city. Nonetheless, she knows the streets well enough to walk through the city at ease. She also connects Vienna with her childhood, as she visited the city many times as a child with her mother. Later in life, Honigmann brings her own children to Vienna to visit Lizzy.

Lizzy’s background and history is also clarified. Honigmann discovers her mother’s stories through a number of photos from different times and places of her mother’s life. Honigmann also describes the last time she saw her mother at the end of May in 1991. The essay concludes with another description of Honigmann’s visit to Lizzy’s grave. She states that it always rains upon her visits. Then, she returns to Straßbourg, France.