User:Landon Thomas 23/Tintic War/Wsprad74 Peer Review

General info
Landon Thomas 23
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Landon Thomas 23/Tintic War
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tintic War

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello Landon! Here's my peer review for your Wikipedia Draft,

Lead:

Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? After reviewing both the original "Tintic War" article and your Draft I can see that you've kept most of the beginning section of the article but added a section header to establish the "lead" more effectively for the reader. You've also added to the first paragraph giving a little bit more detail about what the article will consist of and I think that's a great way to start this article.

Content/Sources and References:

Your biggest goal for the rough draft was to establish a sense of direction and overall organization for the article. I noticed you added many different section headers, and although they don't have any information as of this moment I think it's good that you put them in your draft to let peers and the professor know what direction you're headed with this article. Your sections titled "Background Information" and "The Walker War" were well written and had footnotes that tied to good references. You added a couple of new references to the article which is good as well, the only thing I would do is add a couple more primary sources.

Tone/Organization:

Your overall tone was neutral in your draft which is good, I mentioned your organization in the above section but to reiterate I think it's one of your strongest parts of the article so far.

Additional Questions/input:

I noticed that you had a section titled "The Walker War" and what you wrote has great information, but a reader might get confused seeing an additional war in a page already tied to another war. My question is since you already have the Walker War article hyperlinked is a whole section needed for it in this article? (Again this is just food for thought and I can see both sides of the argument).

Overall outstanding job!

-William Spradling