User:Largerpolishman/ Lisbeth Redfield

Lisbeth Redfield is an unusually attractive young woman who is currently enrolled as a student at the University of Chicago. On February 14, 2009, she was officially asked by Matt Mutino to be his valentine. Mutino only did so after close consultation with his romantic adviser and general consigliere, Henry Kissinger

Early Stages
After pining for her for a long time, and becoming frustrated with relying on 'chance' encounters at CAPS events to see her, Matt Mutino approached Kissinger about escalating his engagement in Lisbeth. Kissinger had previously urged caution on this front, arguing that "Lisbeth is too pretty for you" and "She has not forgiven you for not writing that wikipedia article about her." However, Matt's affections had become too strong to ignore, and Kissinger agreed to plot an attack.

The two agreed that an in-person encounter at a 'communications mixer' would provide the best opportunity. While handing his resume to industry professionals, they planned, Matt would 'accidentally' give one that read 'I WANT TO DATE YOU AND THEN MAYBE MAKE OUT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE HOT' to Lisbeth. Lisbeth, however, did not appear at the event, yielding an uncomfortable situation when Matt gave the fake resume to a recruiter from Abelson-Taylor.

Stung by defeat, Mutino and Kissinger were forced to develop another strategy. Realizing another personal encounter was unlikely, and that it would be weird to request her phone number solely to ask her out, the two decided it must be done via email. Said Kissinger, "The email courtship of Lisbeth was a brutal but necessary step in Matt's grand objective to win her heart. Though the move fomented unprecedented awkwardness in the region and tragic loss of innocent life, it allowed Matt to take her to a movie and hold her hand."

Valentine's Day Wishes
Over the next three weeks, Matt's affections for Lisbeth deepened. On February 14, he decided to formalize their relations by asking her to be his valentine. Without Kissinger (who had traveled to Los Angeles for the premier of "He's Just Not That into You"), Matt was forced to develop his own tactic. He decided that the following note would suffice:

Hey Lisbeth, this is Matt, from school. I just wanted to let you know that despite all the time we've been spending together, I still think you're swell and gorgeous and a whole host of other good things. (hug)

Conclusion
Unfortunately, Lisbeth had left Chicago to visit Henry Kissinger in Los Angeles. After accompanying her to 'He's Just Not That into You,' Kissinger told Lisbeth, "I just am that into you." He invited her to his villa in East Timor, where the two plan to spend the rest of the winter.