User:Las157/Environmental sustainability of vintage fashion/Gcmorgan Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Las157


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Las157/Environmental_sustainability_of_vintage_fashion?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
I thought that your organization of topics was well done. The Growth of Vintage Fashion is a good section especially due to its implementation of numbers. Some aspects of the paper are written in a way that is trying to convince the reader. I would try and rewrite those sections in a more neutral tone. Also do not need descriptions of phrases/words that are already hyperlinked. You also do not need to have intro phrases like "additionally" as this is not an essay and is more just a presentation of information. Overall I thought the information given was well done and just needs some slight tone adjustments.