User:Laumoos/Ostracon/RaccoonEnjoyer Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Laumoos


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Laumoos/Ostracon?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ostracon

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think the section has been expanded to add more detail which makes the portion of the article feel more complete and descriptive. However, there is a slight tone difference between the last paragraph and the rest of the section, with most of the section reading a little like a textbook and the last paragraph feeling a touch more neutral in tone. The use of "Displacement" in the last paragraph feels like it was meant to be "Disappointment" as it does not fit with the rest of the sentence. Other than that and some small capitalization errors in that paragraph overall it seems rather clear and a great start to the edits.

I think if the lead could have some references added to back up the definition of an Ostracon and an explanation as to why people might use these and how they help us understand daily life it would be a great improvement.

I think some notable examples of the text of the Ostracon would also help highlight the way they help highlight the daily life of Egypt.

The images in "Egyptian limestone and potsherd ostraca" section could be better oriented right now the L shape to the text makes it not very easy to read.

Overall I think this is a good start to the project.