User:Laurenmacch/Deafness In Haiti/Pamgorilla Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Laurenmacch


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Deafness in Haiti


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Deafness in Haiti

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Language Emergence

I agree with Ashlyn that noting the first documentation date of LSH and differences between ASL and LSH could improve this section! It's a shame that Haitians view deafness as a punishment, but it's good information to note in this section to give the readers a better understanding of why hearing people do not intend to learn about LSH or Deaf culture!

Significant Organizations

I really liked you section about OTG Missions, and I think adding more examples of what the other significant orgs have done in the past to specifically help DHH people would strengthen this section. I also liked that you included references to how The Association des Sourds de Leveque to the UNCRPD Article 11; this makes it seem like more of an empowerment organization.

Human and Civil Rights

Deaf people are below what disabled community--mental? physical? I know some regions refer to Deaf people as disabled, so some specificity may be good here! I feel like the last sentence might be analysis? I agree with it, and I don't doubt that it's true, but I just want to make sure the article is neutral as possible for Wikipedia!