User:Laylagoldberg19/Transgender legal history in the United States/Nathan.brenn Peer Review

General info
laylagoldberg19
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Laylagoldberg19/Transgender legal history in the United States
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Transgender legal history in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
Intro

Beginning with the edit on the first section, it sounds much more concise and less wordy than before. Instead of feeling like a run-on-sentence, this section is now broken up into logical sections that introduce the topic very well. I may be mistaken but I think the difference between local government and municipality is not huge so consider keeping just one of these terms in the list. I would also argue that military justice may be lumped with the federal government. I think for the introduction you could leave out military justice and then make that distinction later in the article (if this difference is important enough in the grand scheme, I say keep it). You may consider combining the two sentences that end the introduction and say something like "This history reflects significant shifts in societal attitudes and subsequently impacts on legislative and judicial outcomes at the federal, state, and local level" (this is not by any means a great sentence but this general structure is something to consider!).

For the next section, I think it all sounds really good! It is clear how so many issues have connections to transgender and transexual individuals. The previous writing felt unclear and a bit wordy but it is much more concise now!

I think all that's left for this draft is possibly adding some citations.

Great job :)