User:Leamanda/Health status of Asian Americans/Seskaff Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User: Leamanda


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Health status of Asian Americans
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Health status of Asian Americans

Evaluate the drafted changes
- "Some strategies that CSAAH entailed included working with both health and non-health organizations to address the fact that many Asian Americans seek medical information from non-health centers" maybe reword this sentence a little bit, like change the word entailed

Content

- yes the content is relevant to the topic

- yes the content is up to date

''- Add information/content about the youth education section. More information on what the AAPCHO and APIAHF do would be useful too.''

Tone and Balance

- the content is neutral

''- "Additionally, by using social media and technology to educate teens about reproductive and sexual health, Asian American youth have greater privacy to learn about and engage in these conversations, helping address disparities that arise due to cultural stigma." maybe try to change the tone in this sentence to have less of an essay voice''

Sources and References

Guiding questions:

- yes really good job citing everything, don't forget to add in hyperlinks for words though (like community health centers, etc.)

- the links work

Organization

- very clear writing and well organized

- did not see any spelling or grammar errors

Overall impressions

- The article is more complete with the info you added and adding a youth education section would be helpful to the article overall as well

- the writing was also pretty neutral just needs to be slightly less essay sounding in some areas