User:LeeLaiben/Monastic garden/Kjhrdt Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

LeeLaiben


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:LeeLaiben/Monastic_garden?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Monastic garden

Evaluate the drafted changes
The draft is very well organized and put together, it seems to flow from one to the next topic somewhat seamlessly making it quite easy to read for a person that knows nothing about the topic. Making it fairly clear to read, and understand. With the sections broken apart where it seems to fit well with the article.

Changes to the Article
Changing the article itself, I would fix up some of the language that is used in the article which seems somewhat informal to the reading, somewhat distracting me from reading like the use of the word "So" that is used a few times throughout the article. The helpful use it would bring to the article, is a certain level of professionalism. Besides that any change I would recommend seems like it has already been done in your sandbox.

I would keep the historical evidence as either the opening paragraph, or the second section before the Monastic Gardens section just to give the people reading it an idea of what they will be learning more about before they read further. Giving some historical context to the

What I can draw from yours though is the organization, making it easy to read and go through as a whole making it easier to understand as I read through my own article.

Response to Peer Review
I am very glad that you found the organization better in the sandbox, because that was our primary goal for the start of the project.

I am going to be sure to keep an eye out for informal language because I agree with you that it does not fit into the article.

I appreciate your suggestion, but for the moment I'm going to keep the historical evidence section where it is, just because I thing it feels more naturl to open on the garden and then talk about the history.