User:Leekatie212/East African drug trade/Bot.mod22 Peer Review

Mark's peer review
So far, good job on the writing. The draft is specific and concise. The tone is neutral and does not sound argumentative or like you are pushing an agenda.

I think you could expand on who, specifically, is trading the drugs, the impacts or effects of the drug trade, what the mentioned laws are doing and whether they are effective, how the actors are circumventing the laws, and mentioning the effects of khat (I know you linked an article, but a brief description wouldn't hurt). In my opinion, these changes could improve your draft by providing more detail for the readers without the readers having to leave your article and doing supplemental research. Also, I think you could tweak the section titles to be more clear and specific. For instance, in the "responses," you could change it to "State response" to reduce any ambiguity.

As a reader, I would be interested in the effects of the drug trade on communities and people, like who uses them (wealthy or poor, young or old, recreational or medical). ~

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Leekatie212


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Leekatie212/East African drug trade


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
So far, good job on the writing. The draft is specific and concise. The tone is neutral and does not sound argumentative or like you are pushing an agenda.

I think you could expand on who, specifically, is trading the drugs, the impacts or effects of the drug trade, what the mentioned laws are doing and whether they are effective, how the actors are circumventing the laws, and mentioning the effects of khat (I know you linked an article, but a brief description wouldn't hurt). In my opinion, these changes could improve your draft by providing more detail for the readers without the readers having to leave your article and doing supplemental research. Also, I think you could tweak the section titles to be more clear and specific. For instance, in the "responses," you could change it to "State response" to reduce any ambiguity.

As a reader, I would be interested in the effects of the drug trade on communities and people, like who uses them (wealthy or poor, young or old, recreational or medical). ~