User:Lefooding/Nikoalan Nselurfueymardcora

Nikoalan Nselurfueymardcora

Biography
There shouldn’t be any need to introduce the great Nikoalan Nselurfueymardcora, yet it seems that we are bound to do so. Starting with his name, of murky etymological origins, “Greco-Cape-Verdean-lebanese,” according to Maria, the mother superior at the Maltese orphanage where he spent his childhood before being adopted by an Israeli family, leaving them at the age of 18 to live with a young Ethiopian hippie in Turkey, just a few bays away from the tiny village of Kabak, where, like in Saltaire (Fire Island), taking a leak makes the plants turn green.

Current Projects
Many chefs and critics have tried to bring him back to less virginal realities. Armand Arnal, from La Chassagnette restaurant (in Arles, France): “He is the best and most genuine of all of us, every chef alive needs his input!” Corey lee, from Benu (San Francisco, US): “He is the chef’s Chef for our generation.” Kobe Desramaults, from In the Wulf (Dranouter, Belgium): “He’s one of those guys that set the path for us, no compromises, no bullshit! He did whatever he wanted and did it in a glorious way.” Niko invariably refuses all requests, and not just from dubious food festivals... He says no to the Michelin, to the World’s 50 best, even to the Hyper Chef Show, which on the recommendation of his friend Massimo Bottura, the great Italian chef, wanted to shoot an episode of his shows on Niko's beach.

However, Nikoalan has chosen to partake in this year's Le Grand Fooding-Exquisite Corpse where he and 13 of his celebrity chef friends will cook around the clock for 52 hours. Sadly, however, this event will mark Nikoalan's retirement. Nselurfueymardcora was quoted by French journalist Alexandre Cammas as saying "This is the first and certainly the last time I will cook wearing glasses."