User:Lefty89/Ellen Cassedy/Myadog23! Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lefty89 and Avilolx


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lefty89/Ellen_Cassedy?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I would recommend creating more of a “lead” to the article giving a brief overview of who Ellen Cassedy is and why she is worth learning about. Then, carry on into your early life paragraphs etc..The very first sentence as well as some information from the other articles (the most important facts or information) are things that could be put into the lead. From there, going into your subheadings you could talk more in depth about each of the topics mentioned, which you already have a great start with! I think the subheadings are great ways to organize the information. What you have incorporated so far is up to date, and much of the information is support with dates and time frames. I think the content itself is great, but one thing to be careful of his including adjectives about Ellen such as “fierce” or others used, just because to some that might come across as bias, since describing people could potentially be seen as opinion based, and that wouldn’t be a great look for the article.

Looking at sources, I am not seeing any inserts of where you used your three sources. After each piece of information used, there should be a citation as to where that information came from. I see you have sources in your references, but I would suggest going back and identify and matching which facts go with which source. On my end, the second source needs to have the C in Cassedy uppercase, and there seems to be an error message shown (go back and check the format of this source). I would suggest adding links to other wikipedia articles such as 9to5 or the YIVO institute talked about. The I in involvement needs to be capitalized (subheading), a few sentences are missing punctuation marks, and I would double check how 9to5 is abbreviated, sometimes it is without spaces and sometimes it is spelled out using letters depending on the context. An idea if looking to add more content would be to add more specific examples of projects she worked on or how/why her legacy lives on.

Overall, I think the content itself is relevant and gives a great overview of the topic. The information is easy to read, is chronological, and is straight to the point. A few pictures or a headshot of Ellen Cassedy would complete the article. Apart from a few spelling errors, the need to incorporate sources within the article, and other points I mentioned, I think this article is off to a great start, and the information did in fact help me learn about who Ellen was and why she is important.