User:Legendaryluke10/sandbox

George K Sutton (Aryan)

The Epic Adventures of George K Sutton

It all started when our feminine male protagonist, George Sutton, woke up in a fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling really frustrated, George Sutton attacked a dull pencil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few freaknasty minutes later, he realized that his beloved Dildo was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, Flandre Scarlet. George Sutton had known Flandre Scarlet for (plus or minus) 20 years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones. Flandre Scarlet was unique. She was intelligent though sometimes a little... stupid. George Sutton called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Flandre Scarlet picked up to a very nervous George Sutton. Flandre Scarlet calmly assured him that most Indonesian devil cats cringe before mating, yet albino cats usually indiscriminately sneeze *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting George Sutton. Why was Flandre Scarlet trying to distract George Sutton? Because she had snuck out from George Sutton's with the Dildo only two days prior. It was a enticing little Dildo... how could she resist?

It didn't take long before George Sutton got back to the subject at hand: his Dildo. Flandre Scarlet belched. Relunctantly, Flandre Scarlet invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Dildo. George Sutton grabbed his hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Flandre Scarlet realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Dildo and she had to do it aptly. She figured that if George Sutton took the curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), she had take at least nine minutes before George Sutton would get there. But if he took the Mj's Dick? Then Flandre Scarlet would be really screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Flandre Scarlet was interrupted by two funny-smelling jackalopes that were lured by her Dildo. Flandre Scarlet belched; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling frustrated, she deftly reached for her ripened avocado and skillfully stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Mj's Dick rolling up. It was George Sutton.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, George Sutton was out of the Mj's Dick and went charismatically jaunting toward Flandre Scarlet's front door. Meanwhile inside, Flandre Scarlet was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the Dildo into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind her hammock. Flandre Scarlet was worried but at least the Dildo was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Flandre Scarlet sassily purred. With a quick push, George Sutton opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some oafish genocidal maniac in a neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Flandre Scarlet assured him. George Sutton took a seat about two saucy furlongs from where Flandre Scarlet had hidden the Dildo. Flandre Scarlet panicked trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But George Sutton was distracted. Giggling like schoolgirl, Flandre Scarlet noticed a funny-smelling look on George Sutton's face. George Sutton slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Flandre Scarlet felt a stabbing pain in her armpit when George Sutton asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the Dildo right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on George Sutton's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's live hand grenades from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. George Sutton nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Flandre Scarlet could react, George Sutton thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Dildo was plainly in view.

George Sutton stared at Flandre Scarlet for what what must've been two microseconds. With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, Flandre Scarlet groped flamboyantly in George Sutton's direction, clearly desperate. George Sutton grabbed the Dildo and bolted for the door. It was locked. Flandre Scarlet let out a electric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, George Sutton,' she rebuked. Flandre Scarlet always had been a little oafish, so George Sutton knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Flandre Scarlet did something crazy, like... start chucking live hand grenades at her or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, he gripped his Dildo tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Flandre Scarlet looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from George Sutton. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for George Sutton. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Flandre Scarlet walked over to the window and looked down. George Sutton was gone.

Just yonder, George Sutton was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Flandre Scarlet's place. George Sutton had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral jackalopes suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Dildo. One by one they latched on to George Sutton. Already weakened from his injury, George Sutton yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of jackalopes running off with his Dildo.

About ten hours later, George Sutton awoke, his double chin throbbing. It was dark and George Sutton did not know where he was. Deep in the enchanting lemur-infested moor, George Sutton was exceedingly lost. Ever so extemperaneously, he remembered that his Dildo was taken by the jackalopes. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a enormous jackalope emerged from the fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the alpha jackalope. George Sutton opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the jackalope sunk its teeth into George Sutton's armpit. With a faint groan, the life escaped from George Sutton's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than ten miles away, Flandre Scarlet was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Dildo. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened potato. With a inept thrust, she buried it deeply into her armpit. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about George Sutton... wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the Dildo that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant jackalopes, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(