User:Leinaala03/Mad Girl's Love Song/Scorpio1028 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Leinaala03


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Leinaala03/Mad_Girl%27s_Love_Song&oldid=1144322774
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mad Girl's Love Song

Evaluate the drafted changes
I love that you added more to the lead as the original definitely felt like it was lacking a little. I also thought it was a smart decision to remove the entire subheading about the form and instead hyperlink it in the lead. The form is important but I don't think an entire section is necessary if there's already an entire wikipedia page on that style of poetry. I also like that you got more specific in the fact that Plath was a third-year student at Smith when she wrote the poem. This may be a little nitpicky on my end but the last two sentences of the lead both use the word "published" in around the same part of the sentence so it reads a little repetitive. Maybe you can combine the two sentences to make them one?

The first paragraph of the themes and symbolism section was originally well written so I agree with your choice to keep it. I also like that you added the points about the juxtaposition between the loneliness highlighted in the opening versus the loving undertone of the poem adding to the overall theme of confusion, which I'm assuming is vital to the poem and the original article missed. I think the original article's section was overall really well written so I think the fact that you kept most of the original in your draft is fine. I do like the small edits and rephrasing you made to this section. I notice you didn't copy the part about religion from the original which makes sense because I think that's something that can be included in the themes and symbolism section and doesn't really need its own section. You also omitted the part about the different poetic techniques which makes sense because it doesn't really fit in the theme section but maybe you can add it to the lead.

I think the consciousness and madness part of your draft is an incredible addition to the article. However, I'm wondering if there needs to be a separation between this and the other section of themes and symbolism. A suggestion could be to make a subheading under the themes and symbolism section but I think that might just be a stylistic choice for the formatting of the article. I will say that I'm not entirely sure if this is a 'violation' but I would just be careful drawing the conclusion that the poem is related to her father's death despite the trauma she expressed having as a result of his death. Maybe see if there are any sources where she hints at the connection?

Is the question mark next to inspirations because you aren't sure if that's the right title for the subheading? I think that's not really a topic of the poem that needs as much fleshing out as the other ones so I think what you have is good enough and you can add more if you find more. I think all in all you've definitely strengthened the poem's article from what it originally was so I don't have many critiques other than the short ones I mentioned in the other sections. Your sources seem to check out and I like that you used the same sources in different parts of the article, showing that a little can go a long way :)