User:Lgenn03/Yellowstone National Park/Alli St. John Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lgenn03


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lgenn03/Yellowstone_National_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Yellowstone National Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

LEAD: There is no lead title included so I would just add one that has something to do with the Native Tribes and their history of their land being stolen in Yellowstone.

CONTENT: I think you have very valid content and it is necessary to include in the wikipedia page because it tells the poor history of Yellowstone. I think your contribution will be an important one to the wiki article I think you did a good job of summarizing the events of the Native tribes losing their land. There are a lot of years and debates in there that can be discussed for a long time, so I think you did a really good job of sticking to the main points.

TONE AND BALANCE: I think your content is really neutral which can be hard to do with this topic. But I did not see any opinion in your article addition. The only sentence that I can see a little bit of tone/swaying in and I do not think completely fits in the article is "Yellowstone houses so much tradition of the tribes". That sentence is in the second paragraph.

SOURCES AND REFERENCES: You did not cite in-text your citations, so I would recommend doing that (adding your citation at the end of the sentence so it gives the little superscript number). Your sources are all very relevant and up to date. They look like reliable sources.

ORGANIZATION: I would suggest splitting your content into 2 subheadings, one subheading being something to do with Native Tribe history/ traditions/ before white settlers came in, and the other subheading entitling all information about the unfair treaties and removal of Indians from their lands. Just a suggestion though, it's already pretty organized as it is.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I really think you chose a good topic and am glad you are including this in the Yellowstone National Park page because it is very important to the history of the Park. I think you did a really good job at staying neutral while providing all the facts and evidence. Good job!