User:Liagabrielafp/Sustainable development/Kayleegmorgan Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Liagabrielafp


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Liagabrielafp/Sustainable development
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sustainable development

Evaluate the drafted changes
Loved the edits you've made thus far...after looking at the previous paragraph on gender in sustainable development it's definitely not doing the topic justice. It almost sounds biased the way it's written currently (especially the "women's lack of confidence" part). I have two main suggestions:

Firstly, it could be good to add some sort of numerical data to go along with this. Is there perhaps a percentage of women in leadership roles currently that you could mention? Something that quantifies the current inequality. Maybe you could show how the number of women in leadership roles has increased in the last X number of years but show there's lots of room for improvement as well.

Secondly, I wonder if it's worth having a sentence about participation from people who don't fall under the man/woman binary. What does participation look like for nonbinary people? It could even be a small sentence recognizing there's not much information on this yet.

Overall I really liked the prose and thought you did a great job of staying neutral with your tone. The organization was great and the content is both relevant and up to date.