User:Lilabroden3/Indian Hill Memorial Park/ShaynaLakin Peer Review

General info
MatthewLathew, Lilabroden3
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Lilabroden3/Indian Hill Memorial Park
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead sentence is borderline opinion so be careful with that and also maybe rework the first sentence to have some information about the topic. The rest of the lead sentences are a little bit choppy to read so try and work on making the facts flow together a little more to make it easier to read.

Content: For the geography section maybe add some info about the history of the location itself to add a little bit more to the paragraph. Right now, the street address and the map coordinates are really all I get from there and that's not super useful information unless accompanied by something more. "Today, Indian Hill Memorial park is home to a variety of wildlife and is a preserved area that people cannot reach through a specific trail" elaborate more on this and also wording is a little confusing at the end. Overall just add more info to all sections of article.

Tone and Balance: There are a few places in the article that are borderline opinion (the lead sentence, second sentence of controversies paragraph).

Sources and References: The references section is mostly the same source used over and over again so I don't know if that was done accidently or on purpose but if citing the same article a second time, there's a way to repeat a citation so it gets cited to a reference that already exists instead of repeating the citation in the references section.

Images and Media: I would definitely add some images of the park and maybe a map of where it's located to help readers who aren't familiar with the area.

Overall, it's a solid start to the article. The biggest thing I would say is the writing can be a bit choppy in some places and the paragraphs turn into a list of facts rather than connecting those facts to each other. Also the reference section shouldn't have the same article cited separately every time it's used so those should be consolidated.