User:Lillyroehrig/John Francis (environmentalist)/DominikKonwinski Peer Review

General info
Lillyroehrig
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=John_Francis_(environmentalist)&action=history
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):John Francis (environmentalist)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Since I know the bulk of your work has been expanding the plot summary, I will keep my review specific to that. I think that what you have is great, but it may be a little bit long for a plot summary. I would say that you probably cover all of the important parts, which is good of course, but there are a few details that could probably be left out without damaging the summary itself. Overall though, I don't think that you include WAY too much information or anything, so make sure not to delete stuff if you think it is super relevant after looking at it a few more times. In terms of the organization of the content, what you have is almost perfect. What I mean by that is that the chapter summaries you've added are perfectly chronological, easy to follow, and informative. With the organization, though, I think that you could do some rearranging, such as moving the career and education headers at the bottom of the article closer to the early life section; this would make the article flow more smoothly in my opinion (it would keep his life information close to each other). You have already added a lot regarding the content of planetwalker, so overall I would begin to focus on other area, and just look for sentences where you could potentially be more concise in this section. It could be beneficial to add additional sections such as critical reception of his novel. I don't see any spelling or grammar errors. In the header, you should probably include a bit about his authorship of planet walker. Overall, good work! I hope at least some of this is helpful, good luck!