User:Lily.Weissman/Cultural Zionism/Coffee2002 Peer Review

General info
User:Lily.Weissman/Cultural Zionism
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Lily.Weissman/Cultural Zionism
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Cultural Zionism

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The additional sentences are helpful based on what was added to the article. The crossed out line is a little confusing, and I would remove it from the lead.

Content

The additional content added is very relevant, current, and seems well researched. It helps to add other perspectives, and adding the opposition from critics helps to add depth to the article.

Tone and Balance

The tone is neutral and helps to add more perspectives into the article. There does not seem to be any bias in the writing.

Sources and References

It seems like the sources are not all added properly into the page, so that would be something that needs to be fixed. There are a lot of parenthesis where sources look like they should be added into Wiki so they can be cited properly in the article. Also, some references look crossed out and I am not sure if that is intentional?

Organization

There are some grammatical errors that make some of the sentences hard to read, so I would reread sentences to make the sentences flow better. Also, there is one bullet pointed sentence, and I would recommend taking that out or making more bullets because one looks out of place. The organization of the article is good, and the new headings help the article.

Overall, really good job! The content added adds a lot to this article. The research is well done, so to improve the draft, improve the grammar and fix the citation links. Good job!