User:Lin.jaide/Affordable housing by country/HannahLH Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lin.jaide


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lin.jaide/Affordable_housing_by_country?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Affordable housing by country

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Jaide! Feel free to email me if you have any questions about what I wrote. Here's my peer review:

Mali

 * This is really good–I especially appreciated the depth you went into about the program while still being concise.
 * The only suggestion I have here is maybe you could add something about what the local government is doing (if anything) to provide affordable housing? Or maybe include an addiction NGO example?

India

 * For your first sentence, would it be possible to get more recent statistics on poverty?
 * If you want maybe you could replace the word "huge" in "there is huge demand for affordable housing"?
 * "economically weaker" is kind of weird wording–maybe replace it?
 * I really like that you included multiple examples in this section :)

Indonesia

 * It would be more clear if your first sentence was reworded. Also, maybe connect your first sentence to the rest of your paragraph a bit more; right now the first sentence feels unrelated to the rest of your paragraph.
 * The quote you have in the last sentence is a little clunky and possibly unnecessary, it might be easier to just reword/ paraphrase it
 * I really liked how you had more than one example in your "India" section, maybe there's a NGO or additional policy example you could add to this section?

Overall

 * You wrote in an unbiased and clear way; I think you totally nailed the encyclopedic voice we've been talking about in class. Awesome job!!
 * The only critique I really have is–like I wrote above–some of your sections could use additional examples
 * This is super fabulous, and I can't wait to see the final article! :)