User:Lin.jaide/Tiny-house movement/Emmazeko Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lin.jaide


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lin.jaide/Tiny-house_movement?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tiny-house movement

Evaluate the drafted changes
"The village was opened on May 17, 2018 by the Scottish Cabinet Secretary for Communities, Social Security and Equalities, Angela Constance MSP and features eleven NestHouse Duo tiny houses and a community hub building all built by Carbon Dynamic. "

-this sentence is a bit confusing, I think just because of the long title of Angela Constance, not sure if there's a way to make it more clear

-Very thorough list of sources!! Definitely feels well researched and based in fact, not opinions, also makes it read as neutral

-"it is common for lofts to be between 3.3 ft and 5.5 ft (1.0m and 1.7m) inside height", not sure why there's a gray mark before ft, also this maybe should be "in", not "inside"-"The advent of NIMBY-ism occupied much of community organizing and housing advocacy dialogue in the 1980, so much that some coined the belief “the populist political philosophy of the 1980s.” -this sentence is a bit unclear, was this belief coined specifically about housing?

-“The stigmatization of persons and places are thus mutually constitutive of community rejection and organized resistance to human service facility sitting.”: maybe add a citation at the end of this quote, I'm not sure if even though there's a citation at the end of the next sentence you should put it here also since it's a quote?

-not sure if phrases like "consequently" and "in effect" are essay-ish, they definitely make sense where you use them I'm just not sure if that comes across like leading readers to a certain conclusion

-I think the last paragraph comes across like a conclusion where you're summarizing an argument, it's possible you could just take it out or maybe add some citations so it's still providing concrete information. Also maybe just changing the language would help, this part more than any other reads like an essay