User:Lin.jaide/Tiny-house movement/HannahLH Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lin.jaide


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lin.jaide/Tiny-house_movement?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tiny-house movement

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hey again! I'm loving your article–awesome job! Feel free to email me if you have any questions about what I wrote. Here's my peer review:


 * I thought your additions to the "Housing for the Homeless" section were great!
 * Maybe reword "To further detail the efforts of Sustainable Housing at California to ensure basic housing provisions and community integration," to something like "Sustainable Housing at California works to ensure basic housing provisions and community integration," then have "THIMBY aims to create an environment that allows homeowners and transitional housing residents to live as neighbors rather than in a landlord-tenant relationship" be its own, new sentence
 * I don't think it's necessary to repeat "Tiny House in My Backyard (THIMBY)" just use the acronym
 * The paragraphs you added to "The pros and cons of tiny houses" really helped boost the article!
 * the "In many ways" in the fourth paragraph is a little essaysish, if you delete it you'll still have a solid sentence
 * same with "Despite the framing " and "As such" and "in some ways" in the last paragraph
 * I think everything after the first sentence in this paragraph could use a bit of rewording. I LOVE the ideas your getting across, but the tone isn't really encyclopedic.  Maybe adding a source or two would help here?
 * Overall, your additions to this article really improved it! My biggest critique is that the last paragraph feels like the conclusion to an essay more than a wikipedia article. AMAZING article I can't wait to see the final thing! :)