User:Lindsing17/Xenia (Greek)/Hippolotamus Peer Review

General info
Lindsing17
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Lindsing17/Xenia (Greek)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Xenia (Greek)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

·      I think the original lead runs a little long. Some paragraphs, like the one about Zeus could be folded into Overview, maybe even add a History or Origin section.

·      Lack of citation throughout the lead (and original article in general). Many things stated but no citation on where material is from.

·      The last paragraph about the marriage fraud seems very out of place. Like almost an afterthought. I’m not entirely sure where it would fit better in the article but the lead seems odd.

·      Not sure if you had planned to make edits to lead or not.

Content

·      I agree with your comment the sections on political alliances and architecture rely heavily on quotes instead of paraphrasing and explaining the information

·      Also definitely more sources for those sections as well.

·      The Plato comment at the end of the Political alliance section also seems like an after thought. Maybe expand or find out if it’s really necessary.

·      I also agree the article focuses a lot on xenia in literature. That could be paired down to a few examples instead of huge sections for the multiple books

·      I am trying to decide if the xenia example in the bible is relatable or necessary. With some fact checking as you stated it might be better scrapped, especially if it seems to be mostly speculation

Tone

·      I think the tone of the article is pretty good. I think the information you’re adding also remains neutral.

·      The weight of the examples in literature is pretty heavy and agree that you could use more information about xenia in everyday society

Sources

·      The original article does seem to have a good deal of sources that seem like they might be heavily based on the literature examples.

·      Could probably use more variation outside of that, like with society

Overall

·      I like the edits you have made, and your comments on what you’re still working on. I agree with what could use work,

·      More pictures might be a nice addition as well, if you can find something related.

·      The addition of more hyperlinks is also always appreciated.

·      I think the literature can be downplayed while adding more focus on real world practices of xenia in ancient Greek culture

·      Otherwise, great work! I like what you’ve come up with for the article!