User:Lindyrenae

I never want to be in the same place I was yesterday.

I just turned 32 and for my birthday I was gifted the book, You Should... . The book contains 100 THINGS you should do to move forward, leave stagnation and help you DO your own things. You journal as you go and the book promises the momentum to do, reflect and grow. Also, 100 stories. Creating my Wikipedia page is the first THING I flipped to. I'm not sure how I will grow in doing this, but self reflection never hurt anyone. So here goes...

I was born in the smack dab middle of the United States (a place I swore as a young child I would leave as soon as I had the chance) on October 15, 1986 to two very young newlyweds. I was the first born of four children. I'm your text book first born child, type A personality. Maturity for me was far beyond my years and I was always waiting for the next step in life. I don't remember doing many "childish" things. By age 13, I deemed myself too old to "play" with my friends or ride a bike (something I love doing as an adult). I had dreams of doing something big. I was going to move to New York City and act in plays on a big stage. Maybe because the life seemed glamorous. Maybe because I sought fame and was hungry for popularity. Local community theater would have to do until I graduated high school. I always made roles in the chorus and was never a main character. For me, that wasn't good enough. The last play I was in was my Freshman year in high school. I was an understudy and of course I was in the chorus. My understudy dreams came true when my counter part got ill and I made my big debut. My experience was underwhelming at most and it was then I knew it was not for me. In fact, not just in this but in other avenues in my life, whenever there is hard work to be done to accomplish a task or a goal, I take the easy road as far from my goal as I can get. And I will always pretend like it wasn't what I wanted or it wasn't meant to be. The truth is, in the face of adversity I'm weak AF. Softball, theatre, basketball, swimming, blogging, interior design, entrepreneurship.....the list of THINGS just keeps growing as I push them all away to stay comfortable but never content. If I achieved true contentment, I would quit adding to my list of failed ventures. Maybe I would stick to one and actually accomplish something credible. Something I could be proud of. (apologies for the large tangent, it appears this self refection is much needed)

Only a week after I turned 16, legal to work without limitations in the U.S., I applied￼ for a job at a new BBQ restaurant being built down the street from my home. I was estatic when I found out the job was mine. Little did I know, my person I would spend the rest of my life with also got the job. Branden and I would work with each other for five months before we started dating in 2003. In 2005, I graduated highschool and started college work in accounting and business. On September 25, 2008, Branden and I got married and started our family. Gracen was born in 2009 followed by Brooks in 2011 and our only girl, Caroline in 2013. I graduated college in 2011 and decided to be a SAHM (stay at home mom). Just last year, in July of 2017, I returned to work as my children were all on school. I'm currently working as the adminstrative assistant at my childrens' elementary school. To say my life now is stagnant is an understatement. I feel like I'm in a pre-midlife crisis. I'm 32 years old and I haven't started a career. I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. My husband thinks I put too much of an emphasis on careers and I shouldn't define myself by my job. I know he is right. I know I need to find my balance. Working at the school is working for this season of my life. I just have to shake my forever feeling of needing to move onto the next thing. I couldn't wait to grow up, work a job, get married, have kids, get a degree......I must break this cycle. I must live in the moment. Now, here I am embarking on a totally crazy idea of doing 100 THINGS written in this book to have stories to write about. To learn about myself and to grow. I'm ready.