User:LisaR2018/Women in Namibia/Khascall Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:LisaR2018


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:LisaR2018/Women in Namibia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Women in Namibia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi! To make sure everyone gets reviews, I'm doing one for you. I'll do another pass before the article goes live as part of the go-live process; this is only preliminary.

Lead
It looks like the lead is unchanged; as you evolve the article be sure to extend it with reference to the new information you are adding. You could improve the current lead by shifting it out of the current passive voice and into a more active summary of the article's contents.

Content
I see some preliminary work around adding health-related information -- I'd make something broader about health into the section title, and extend the coverage of this theme (other diseases and health conditions maybe? life expectancy? maternal mortality?). There are a lot of sections and content in Women in South Africa that might inspire you to think about the next steps for this article.

Tone and Balance
So far the tone is fact-oriented. The article overall tends to focus on the government, but I wonder if part of the story is being left out in terms of cultural factors, how citizens have advocated for a role for women in society, etc.

Sources and References
The new sources look good. You might find more via the library's online e-book collections.

Organization
The new text looks good, keep going and extending this article.

Images and Media
It's not required to add new images; if you did, I wonder if there are other materials in wikimedia commons that might offer a more multi-faceted view of women in this country.

Overall impressions
This article is improving, but there's more to do. Expanding the perspective beyond government action will help with this.