User:LittleGreenAlien281/Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins/Hanpearce Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

user:LittleGreenAlien281


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:LittleGreenAlien281/Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins

Evaluate the drafted changes
Like I told you in person, I was just confused about where you were putting all of this information into the actual article. Since you said you were creating a whole new section, I think that this information will flow great in this new section.

The only source that I think may be questionable is the one you have as your seventh source. The source seems very unsophisticated (not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but it makes me question the variability of the article) it also seems very chaotic with how put together. All of your other sources seem great in terms of the variability of them.

This is more of a question for me and not about any editing in your draft, but do you plan to add more information at a later date in this new section that you created because I am sure with more research you could add a little bit more just to make the section a little bit longer. Like I said though, that is more of a personal note and not about any edits you need to make to your draft.

Once again, like stated in class, in the last paragraph where you said "so there are built in black bars on the top and bottom of the video" change that to say something about borders instead of using "black bars."

The only other thing that I can see that can help your article is at the end of the last paragraph you have a typo. You have two spaces instead of one between the words "result" and "was."