User:Liv Davis/Draft:Telecoupling/Liv Davis Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Telecoupling - HRVEF


 * Link to draft you're reviewing Draft:Telecoupling
 * Link to the current version of the article no current article
 * Link to the current version of the article no current article

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall I found this article to be very informative and information heavy. I focused mainly on the example section working to re-word and add to the three main examples. I could not find the source you used for the 4th example so I would recommend either removing it or finding a new source. In addition to that I mainly just added some grammar and logistic edits mainly regarding formatting and headings. The article does a very good job of staying neutral throughout and displaying the uses and limitations of telecoupling. I think something that could help be improved is more on the true impacts of urbanization on telecoupling and adding additional subheadings to help guide the reader throughout the article. I think just breaking it down and utilizing more formatting elements as you go along in this will only enhance your article!

Peer Edits Made
plain text = original work, bolded= edits, italics= reasoning

introduction
Bolded Telecoupling

distant coupled human and natural systems (CHANS) → distant coupled human and natural systems or CHANS t his just clarifies it a bit 

created forms of telecoupling heading
Moved→  '''The interaction of governances within a telecoupled system is called an intracoupling. Adjacent telecouplings that also interact are called pericouplings. At the world's most encompassing systemic level, these pericouplings exist within one metacoupling.' It makes the most sense to me to have it here because they are their own important concepts.''

power structures
But → and just a grammar switch

Telecoupling Urbanization, Globalzation --> telecoupling globalization, urbanization
Insert Globalization and Urbanization headings i think that if you have separate headings it will make the section flow better

Delete Expanding unnecessary

Insert the rate

Insert period between promptly and as a result it was becoming a run-on sentence and if you break it into two you give each point its fair share of importance

Causes furthers → creates more grammar correction

connectivity→ connections grammar correction

Governances → countries and regions this clarifies it a bit more and gives it context

Biofuel Example
The European Union enacted policy aimed at reducing fuel emissions in response to increasing Climate change. Crop substitution. Higher food prices and lower yield. Food shortages experienced in 2008. Civil unrest. → '''The European Union enacted policy aimed at reducing fuel emissions in response to increasing climate change. This mandate was created in order to promote the domestic production of biofuels and reduce overall CO2 emissions. There were unintended consequences as a result of these policies due to it being a telecoupled system[3]. These policies included crop substitution which contributed to increased food prices and lowered the crop yield. These then caused a food shortage in 2008 and ultimately led to civil unrest.' I went back to the source and pulled more information and then just re-worded it a bit to help the flow. Overall a good example though!''

RIFA example
Red imported fire ants are Native to South America, but due to trade, they were imported to the US. RIFA is an invasive species that then invaded Australia, New Zealand, and Asia as a result of trade connections with the US. → '''Red imported fire ants or RIFA are native to South America and are considered an invasive species. In the 1900s as a result of trade they were imported into the United States. From there they invaded Australia, New Zealand and Asia due to their nature of being an invasive species. The effects of this invasion affected the economic sector of the United States very harshly causing $6 million in damages, primarily in the agriculture and trade field' I went back to the source and pulled more information and then just re-worded it a bit to help the flow. Overall a good example tho!''

Warbler Example
Kirtland's warbler is a species of bird that migrates for the colder months; they breed in the Michigan area, but winter in the Bahamas. Kirkland's warblers rely on young forests in Michigan, but deforestation due to Logging caused a shortage of the resource for them. The vulnerable warbler population was then taken advantage of by the Brown-headed cowbird causing more population decline in the warblers. →  '''Kirtland’s warbler is a species of migratory bird that leaves their breeding ground in the Michigan area for the Bahamas in the colder months. The Jack Pine forests in Michigan provide much of the support and resources for the Kirland’s warblers. The logging industry and deforestation has led to a significant decline in the population numbers. As the population became more vulnerable the Brown-Headed cowbird increased and contributed to a further decline in the population of Kirtland’s warblers.' Same reasoning as the above examples''

limitations section
Because telecoupling is relatively new, → Telecoupling is relatively new and because of this grammar and flow edit