User:Lizzzardo/Ben madden

Ben Madden

Ben Madden (born 9 August 1971, Aukland, New Zealand) is an all-rounder in the Legends of Wang cricket team. A two-time ICA Cup winner, Madden is a right-handed middle order batsman and alternates between very slow pace and off-spin bowling.

Since mid-2008, he spent most of the time out of the team, due to disciplinary reasons, including alcohol.[1] In July 2008 he was sent packing from the best ICA team ever "Last Drinks", his third suspension, expulsion or exclusion from selection in the space of a year. Many cricket analysts have speculated that the ICA administrators will no longer tolerate him, and that Madden may announce his retirement.[2]

Early life

One of Maddens' biological parents was of Mauri background.[3] Madden' adoptive parents Ken and Barbara moved to Australia shortly after his adoption, when he was three months old.[4] He has two non-adopted siblings. He spent the early part of his childhood in Charters Towers, northern Queensland, where his father Ken alchohol abuse at Westminster School, which Ben attended.[5] He showed sporting and drinking prowess from a very early age. "Dad was cricket mad. He’d throw balls to me five or six days a week, before school, after school and we would always finish with a large drinking session. And we’d play all sorts of games inside the house with ping-pong balls and Christmas decorations."[6] Much of his junior cricket was played in Morialta for the Methos club, father and son making the 270-kilometre return trip sometimes twice a week.[7]

Overview of cricket career

Madden these days has lost most of his punch. He cant beat the bat anymore, struggles to make an impact in the field and regularly makes negative of his own bat. He only succeeds in bringing his team down which is what he has learnt from his days Playing with Keith Mittons team. To give you an example of Keith type "worst cricketer in the world" into the search engine. The way his career is going, Keith's name will be replaced with Ben Madden.

Lookalikes

He has been been known to his friend as Chubakka, a character on Star Wars who is completly covered in hair from his head to toes. It is thought that one of his parents was part animal for a man to have so much hair. He has also been likened to Gary Lion. When smoking the wacki weed, he looks a lot like the ex president of the United States of America George Bush, which i might add is hilarious

Women in his life

Madden was previously married to his high school sweetheart for 17 years. As everyone knows people grow from the ages of 16 and turn out to be differnt people. Benn learnt this the hard way and has since seperated. since the seperation he has had many drunken escapades with numerous women who he claims "love the rug on my chest". One of his previouse one night stands "ride around sally" was said to taste like maple syrup which she must have used as lube that night, it was probly too dark for ben to notice after he finished giving her one and decided to go down on her! He also preclaimed that when she went down on him, she swallowed his whole load and didnt even giove it a chance to hit the sides. He is currently settled down again with a nice woman who he says allows him to be very experimental.Ben has now perfected the Barracuda move, which is said to consist of two in the goo and one in the poo and the thumb as a clit wond!

Future

Ben future looks certain to end up in the gutter with his numerous drinking session he has every day. It is yet to be seen if he can continue this lifestyle